How can we change the way we see ourselves?

"A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself." (Berger 46)

It's hard to imagine a world where women didn't have to constantly evaluate themselves based on their appearance. So many of us like to think that we are forward thinkers, "I'm not like that", including me. I consider myself an independent woman who goes after what she wants. Yet, as I read Berger's article, I realized that I am not immune to the "Gaze", in fact I am an active participant: "She has to survey everything she is and everything she does because how she appears to others, and ultimately how she appears to men, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as the success of her life"(Berger 46).

The male gaze is so pervasive that without consciously making an effort to analyze how one perceives a woman, it is possible to never realize that you are part of the problem. As seemingly strong and independent women the majority of us spend so much time primping ourselves in hopes of attracting the eyes of men. But we would never admit it. How many times have you heard a woman say "I dress this way for me... because it makes me feel good"? Can there be any truth to that statement? If the male gaze was not a factor and we, as women, were never judged on how many looks we can attract when we enter a room - would we do the things we do? Would we walk around in 4-inch heels that do nothing but damage our knees and back? Would we spend countless hours putting on make up, getting manicures, bleaching our hair or waxing our legs? Would we save up for breast implants, liposuction, Botox and face-lifts? I don't think that we would. None of these things are comfortable and most of them are unsafe but we do them anyway because everything around us tells us that if we can't get that man to look at us we are nothing.Mulvey states, "In their traditional exhibitionist role women are simultaneously looked at and displayed, with their appearance coded for strong visual and erotic impact so that they can be said to connote to-be-looked-at-ness."(837) The male gaze has forced many of us to focus on how we are seen as opposed to who we really are. It's all about being looked at. One solution to this is the "Oppositional Gaze". As women our role in this structure has always been passive - we are the ones being looked at. But even when looking at ourselves, we do so with the eyes of men. In my opinion the oppositional gaze means becoming active - looking at ourselves as ourselves. I should be able to look in the mirror and see myself, not the parts of me that a man may like and be attracted to. This is a lot easier said than done.

We are bombarded daily with hundreds of images that support the male gaze. Advertising, movies and magazines that push the importance of how women are seen and what women should look like. Television and film are suppose to be representations of us - but if all we see on the screen is this vision of the ideal woman it is only natural that we end up spending our lives trying to achieve something that may very well be impossible. These women have teams of people that spend hours getting them to look a certain way and whatever the makeup and lighting cannot achieve is simply airbrushed off.

Check out this video of Teri Hatcher getting ready to shoot Desperate Housewives.

It will take years to change the damage that has already been done. But more conscious women behind the camera is a great way to start. If women who understand the effect of the male gaze decided to pass that information along to others we might be able to have future generations of women who look in the mirror and really see themselves. I think the first step is creating a better representation of real women on the screen - all women - black, white, tall, short, blond, brunette, thin and curvy.